The Wedding Cermony, Part1

 What is a Wedding Ceremony?
    While a marrige needs to acknowledge the legal element of the union, the wedding itself is what most people are concerned with. And the ceremony is what they usually most remember - that's what they keep videos of to look at later.
    So when we ask the opening question, the answer may seem obvious. But understanding the wedding ceremony helps clarify everyones role.
    So what is a wedding ceremony?

Wedding Ceremony Defined
    The short answer is that a wedding ceremony is the ritual by which two people get married.
    This answer assumes a communal understanding of wedding ceremony rituals, and what the term "marriage" means.
    But, it might be harder to pin down what really happens, and how, especially nowadays. Some people want to go, "free-style" and be unique in everything – including their marriage. So its not always one size fits all. "Tradtional" is the usual; but it could be something altogether different.
    It helps, then, to break down some important terms and ideas.

Modern Wedding Ceremony Rituals and Traditions
    When you hear the phrase, "wedding ceremony," certain images usually come to mind. You probably picture a white wedding dress, wedding rings, tossing a bouquet of flowers, etc.
    Although these feature prominently in Western weddings, they don't define all wedding ceremonies. You can have a perfectly valid wedding without a white dress, or even diamond rings. And if youre Egyptian or Malaysian or Peruvian, you might NOT define your wedding this way. 
    That said, these elements are so common in the West that people assume these are essential parts of a wedding ceremony. They can be – but they mght not be.

So let's look at a few of the most common components of the modern wedding ceremony.

- White Wedding Dress
    The "white wedding dress" began with Queen Victoria around 1840. This tradition is one of the cultural hallmarks of the Victorian era.
    Since then, the white dress it has become the iconic costume of many brides all over the world, and it is ubiquitously associated with weddings. Rock star Billy Idol even has a song titled, "White Wedding!"
    In fact, there is a large wedding dress industry in our time, which often markets the "ultimate in wedding apparel" for brides...with uppermost pricing to match. 
    However, there is no written cultural or legal requirement for the bride to wear a white dress. If the bride wants to dress like Lady Gaga, that is her prerogative.
    White is also associated with purity and virginity, and such concepts are valued less today than in the past. So some brides may not choose to invoke these cultural values.
    Lastly, some brides may not be able to afford the classic white wedding dress!
    Ultimately, the white dress may be desirable, and familiar, but it isn't necessary.

- Diamond Rings
    The popular diamond wedding ring feels timeless, but compared to the white dress, it is really a modern cultural invention.
    Wedding rings of various sorts have been used in wedding rituals across centuries and cultures, as they signifiy unity and perpetuity. However, their popularity was nothing like the modern ring exchange ritual.
    This modern ritual was developed up in the 1940's by the De Beers Diamond company to sell more diamonds. They spent millions of dollars in advertising and marketing over many years to make their rings an essential part of the wedding ceremony... and it worked.
    These days, a marriage or wedding ceremony feels incomplete without the diamond ring. However it's important to remember that....
a) It's not required
b) You can substitute any other ring, if you choose... or if you can't afford a diamond ring.
c) Other permanent adornments can be substituted, too, if there is some special symbolism in it. But remember, the ring is the universal, timeless symbol of marriage and I suggest keeping it.

Historical Wedding Rituals and Traditions
    You don't need to have a white wedding dress or expensive rings in order to have a wedding ceremony. That choice is purely up to the couple getting married.
    But what about those other rituals that we've seen our whole lives?
    For example, you may have seen movies depicting weddings prior to the Victorian era (before 1837). The bride is probably not wearing a white wedding dress, and rings may not be exchanged. 

    The reality is that modern wedding traditions have undergone a sort of standardization over the years, especially in the United States. Thus, a wedding in California is likely to be similar to one in Maine, Britain, or Italy.
    But, this was not the case several hundred years ago when people lived in more isolated communities. For example, a wedding in a Norwegian immigrant community might look completely different from one in an Italian community. This is because when folks arrived in the U.S. from around the world, they brought their traditions with them.

    But with the wide spread of things like movies, printed media, and television, weddings were brought into households of all backgrounds. Thats when couples started adopting the traditions that we now consider mainstream.
    The point is this: one must diferentiate the trappings of wedding ceremonies from the defining elements of a wedding...that is, two people getting married.

Modern Government Administered Marriage
    This leads us to briefly examine our next point. What is marriage?
    The technical answer would be the life-long, legal, public and private partnership between two people. However that answer is not entirely correct, as there are plenty of people that get divorced, and others that spend their lives together yet never formally tie the knot.
    Marriage may also be defined as a government administered contract between people that confers certain legal benefits. The wedding ceremony is just the ritualization of that legal marital contract.
    In other words, marriage is a contract between two parties, and the wedding ceremony is the performative event that symbolizes that contract.
    Following on these legalistic of marriage, there is one part of the wedding that is essential, "The Declaration of Intent."
    This part, The Declaration of Intent, is where the rubber meets the road – this is the "I Do" part of the wedding. This is the verbalization of the written marital contract. In The Declaration of Intent, each party is saying, "I wilfully wish to enter into the marital contract."
    This is actually the most important part of a wedding ceremony, itself, both for legal reasons, and to cement the committment of each person to the other.

The Essential Takeaway
    In the next segment, we will look at the pattern which wedding ceremonies follow. While couples can personalize their wedding, the ceremony should not be so abstract that it is unrecognizable, for two reasons:
a. So attendees don't feel confused or uncertain.
b. So everyone recognizes the moment two people officially become married.

    Creativity is okay, but not at the expense of clarity.

    Click the following link to go to Wedding Ceremonies Part 2: UNDER CONTRUCTION...check back soon!